The Question: "What's going On?"

A friend e-mailed me today and asked "What's going On?" It gave me a chance to think and process. This has been a long process! The things that were important to me 5 months ago are no longer and the most important has risen to the top! Family being together and health. A large 4 bedroom, 3 bath house, while beautiful and dreamy, frankly is too much to clean and has disallowed us the freedom to DO. I've been over and over, what did we do wrong, vs. what did life just bring? Should we have stayed in our small, humble 1925 bungalow where our cars got broke into because we had no garage? Where the streets were unsafe for my kids to play? Where we were bursting at the seams to find room for our growing family? We wisely invested into that home and came out, selling in the height and getting a good deal on our much bigger, best schools, family friendly neighborhood, cul-de-sac street housing development "mansion." It's not a mansion, but fully provided for every need, 2-car garage, private backyard, 3 blocks from the best schools, 4-level, play-room, family room, living room, dining room yada, yada, yada! We felt wise, we had a decent down payment, made almost $100K on the sale of our previous home, funded our adoption, needed space for adding our daughter? But, here we are 3 years later, having to let it all go. We couldn't see into the future, to know the mortgage business would bottom out, we couldn't know that after going to China for our second trip, as missionaries, we'd begin to feel the need to simplify. Who knew cleaning 3 bathrooms would be so time consuming? And we'd never use our formal dining room and would never afford furniture for our living room? Our financial momentum stalled and we had assumed it would continue at level, or increase. As we came upon the notion that 2008 was a very bad year, Summer, which is our thriving season and savings for the slow Winter, was dead and Winter wasn't far behind with all that it brings, even worse as our city is covered with snow! We knew that going into debt to survive was not an option. We had previously chosen that route when our boys were babies and debt is never the answer, it only sets your future further into destruction. We had learned to save in the good, to prepare for the bad, but with a bad year, there was not much to be saved and so, we began to take inventory. The boat was the first to go, then a dining room table and hutch, many things we'd collected and that sat. I began to learn to release, not lose. As Brian and I began to have more and more "quality" time together, I began my Angry phase. Resentment, frustration over how Brian looked for jobs. My Control began to emerge and faith fades. A low point! I began to realize that I had to deal with my worst case scenario. What if...there's no miracle that saves my house, my kids' current life and comforts, I had to depend on assistance from others. More tomorrow....