"Misery often turns into Ministry"

I often listen to our Christian radio stations while in the car, one because at some point, I realized I had the choice to either worship God or not, and when I looked at it like that I realized that my selfish desire to stay current with secular music was really not that important in the grand scheme of eternity! Secondly, once my eldest son reached about 3, I became hugely aware of what I was letting enter his mind. "Oh be careful little ears what you hear...Oh be careful little ears what you hear, for the Father up above is looking down with love, so be careful little ears what you hear!" Children's songs sure have a way of stating the obvious, yet sometimes difficult Truth's of God. Anyway, all that to say, I heard the announcer make the statement today, "Misery often turns into Ministry." I love little catch phrases, they help me digest and implement new ideas or profound statements and apply them to my life. (That is partly why I love Dr. Phil-isms)
Today, I used, "You ask a stupid question, you get a stupid answer," probably not super politically correct, yet gets right to the point. (Thanks for that one, Papa!)
The idea of sharing in things that pain me deeply, gives me a hope, when there feels as if there's none. A few days ago, I spoke to our Small Group Coordinator at our church, about the idea of beginning a group regarding the difficulties of present life...foreclosure, job loss, short-sale, down-sizing, financial stress, living w/a mother-in-law, and life changes. This has been so difficult for me and I continue to struggle with purpose, groaning, being satisfied in everything and keeping myself from the depths of self-pity, anger, blame, disgust, frustration and far worse. If I miss this opportunity to turn something bad into something that blesses others and glorifies God, then maybe I've missed the point. I've thought about going to the support group for those who have lost loved ones, but don't want to trivialize my physical loss to those who have lost a child, or husband or wife, or mother or father. It isn't quite the same scale, yet there is mourning to be done, an old life to grieve, a way of being in this world that is lost. A loss of security, stability, and ability to predict what tomorrow will bring. It too needs a voice of understanding, compassion, empathy and support. As I began to search out what material God may be pressing me to use, I found this quote that deeply struck me: "Life need not be easy to be joyful. Joy is not the absence of trouble, but the presence of Christ." William Vander Hoven Convicted again!

"You Make, ALL Things, Work Together for My GOOD

It is very difficult when I have not taken the time to write and process the things that are happening in my life, my brain becomes a whirling and twirling tornado of feelings, information, pain and hurts and undiscovered blessings. So many things have occurred, many lessons learned by observation, so many lessons missed by being blinded by my own selfishness and pride.

A song we've been singing at church with our Worship Pastor, Gabriel Wilson, is called, "Your Love Never Fails," by Jesus Culture. Again, my heart has the ability to feel Jesus through lyrics of songs and this song has touched a tenderness and place of struggle within me. The first lyrics that caught my attention are when he says: "The chasm is far to wide, I never thought I'd reach the other side." Which could refer to sin and us getting to God. Without the cross and Jesus' death for our sins, the chasm is far too wide. However, this touched me in a personal way, speaking of the desperation I've felt about life's circumstances. Some days the chasm between a normal, happy life, stability, financial security, comfort in knowing my kids are happy, and that moment actually coming, have seemed so wide that I can't even hope. The second lyrics that absolutely redeem that hope is the bridge that states: "All things, work together, for my good." That is God's answer to my loss of hope! One of the things I love about this song is that you sing, "All things, work together, for my good" over and over again. For me, it's like the author and God knew that I can't possibly understand and certainly can not claim this until I've sung it over and over! As I lift my hands in worship and open my heart to God, I begin to realize that this statement is Truth. My heart has hardened with the trials we've endured and it takes time for God's Truth to burrow through the black and bitterness I've stored up. By the end, I begin to sing that line with confidence and faith, rather than as a question to God.

"Your Love Never Fails"
by: Jesus Culture
(Now playing on my Playlist, song #1)

Nothing can separate,
even if I ran away,
Your Love Never Fails

I know I still make mistakes, BUT
You have new mercies for me everyday
Your Love Never Fails

You stay the same through the ages,
Your love never changes,
Their may be pain in the night,
but joy comes in the morning.

And when the oceans rage,
I don't have to be afraid,
because I know that You love me...
Your Love Never Fails.

The wind is strong and the waters deep,
But I'm not alone in these open seas,
Cause Your Love Never Fails.

The chasm is far too wide,
I never thought I'd reach the other side,
But Your Love Never Fails.

You stay the same through the ages,
Your love never changes,
Their may be pain in the night,
but joy comes in the morning.

You Make..
ALL Things, Work Together For My GOOD!