Today is one of those days where you just throw up your arms and YELL, "WHY?"
When I was in high school, I ran the 400 meter race in Track. I was rated highly in our district, won most of my events, went to District every year and ran at State all four years for the 1600M Relay and once for the 400 where I placed 6th. (I believe my Relay team may still hold the school record to this day.) My name was embroidered into my Sherwood Bowman warm-up jacket and I loved coming onto the track and knowing my competitors knew who I was! For those of you who are unfamiliar with Track, as a sport, Intimidation Is Necessary!! It can win races!
Confidence overlays where practice, speed, and strategy may fall short. And, yes there is strategy beyond running your fastest for a quarter-of-a-mile.
In our relay team, I always ran first. On a typical team, the quickest runs the final leg, making-up any difference and to WIN. Although, depending on the make-up of our team, I often had the best time, I was not the strongest closer! My great friend, Tiffany was! It did not matter how far she was behind, forcing her to run an all time best....she would GET IT DONE! She had the tenacity, strength and sheer will to overcome. She Always ran our final leg and we knew she would never, ever quit.
Today, we once again, after 2 lengthy interviews, drug-testing, personality testing and hope....hear that a job is not going to be offered to Brian. Did I mention this has taken place over 6 Long months?! We have put ourselves out there over and over for this job. The emotional ups & downs have been lofty....we've nearly given up, and then tried again, during this process. But it is at the end.
I could say, "God's in control," (and He is)! I could say, "It's for the best," but disappointment is the first thing that greets me behind that door. A better description would be: I'm sucked into the house, like oxygen is heaved forward caused by a vacuum effect in a burning building! "WWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY??"
And then I remember, "My God is Greater, My God is Stronger, My God is Higher than any other, Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our GOD!" And I take another breath and I Don't Ever Quit, even though I'm sure I'm not able on my own. And God says, "PERFECT," NOW LET ME!"
