"call me immediately"

We had an incident of monumental proportion... I am home, recovering from a cold, trying to move, well...at all, but preferably, forward. The day-ahead seems unsuspecting, then I receive a phone call from the school. It is 10:26 and my son who I've assumed was in class, is not. He has not shown up for school at all today. What? Huh? I had sent him off to youth group with his brother, and then he'd been driven to school. In the moment, slowness, shock and disbelief ensued. I hung up with the school, and thought. Where should that first call go, with precious moments passing. Realizing my son had a phone, I dialed his number...no answer...I probably dialed again. Then I text-ed, "call me immediately" - I dialed his best friend's mom to see if she had seen him. I receive a text back from him..."I'm fine at my friends house" Emotions flood me. Relief, disbelief, fear, but mostly afraid that I'm starting to lose him, that this person I have known, I suddenly don't. It's really the first time this good hearted, and extremely impulsive child has caused me to think his actions may have been premeditated. This is important because I have to know who and what I'm dealing with. I drive up to the house where he's harbored, he comes out immediately...I speak words I barely remember, truthfully not sure what to say, but pretty sure they'd better be harsh and meaningful. We ride to school, I deliver him to the office, shaking. I remember to ask for his one care...his phone, and leave in tears. I return in an hour, calmer, and visit with the Principal who has discussed the gravity of this with my son. She talks, I listen, for about 45 minutes. All I really want to know, is, "how did this happen?" I resolve to let him approach me and not lecture. It takes every bit of shelf control to accomplish doing nothing! He finally says he's ready to discuss the event. I just want to know where his heart is at. It's all that really matters. We discover it was impulsive. A classmates suggestion and an impulsive decision to walk away. In one moment, so much can change. Teaching is difficult, experiencing pain with your children is torturous! It pains me to my soul. I love this child from places I can't even name. He is a part of me, like a branch and even though he's separate, I can still feel his pruning. It is sharp and like the loss of my own limb.