The importance of Relationship!

Cozy-up, grab some tea...I'ts Long, according to Brian:
It's been too long! I have a personal pet-peeve for blogs that don't "Blog," but in this crazy world of life, things go on regardless of if we participate...all those people who don't take their Christmas lights in a timely manner, maybe their not trying to push MY buttons, maybe their just busy?
We are encroaching upon month 7, living with my Mother-in-law, sharing space and life, living on financial means that we could barely have survived as newlyweds with no-kids. It's amazing to see how either the harshness of life has worn me down, or, I have actually succumbed to my situation. Some days it is a little of both. Things that made me about want to puke, such as, "Things could be worse...At least you have your health...etc..." now have a bit of scale and encouragement to me. As it turns out, loosing your home, your friends, church, support, financial stability, financial success for the past 15 years, dreams of how my life was supposed to look; is not the worst thing that could happen. So what has filled in the tremendous gap in all the hurt, loneliness and sorrow? Relationship! One of the first priorities once moving two states away, was to find a church home. It took us 6 weeks, which doesn't seem long, but when your lonely, struggling, raw, and hurting, it's forever! We found Lakeside Church, purely on accident, or by Godly design. Wondering if "we'd know," if it was the right one, the first time we went, our question was answered after the first service at Lakeside. It was an immediate, "Yes!" I could tell you about the amazing Worship, and Brad's gift for teaching...and it was (and is,) but we needed relationship with other believers. We signed ourselves up for a small group and began the awkward dance of going to someones house we didn't know, sitting in a circle of people, we didn't know. I was already sick of being in uncomfortable situations with groups of people I didn't know, nor it seemed, did they care to. (Yes, that is self pity and whining) The next few weeks at group are a bit of a blur. For sure not an immediate bond, but when people are craving and needing relationship, something happens. We all seemed to be in a similar place, experiencing loneliness, struggles and just wanting a soft place to be ourselves. Fast forward 5 months, we have intimate, supportive friends who we spend a great deal of time with each week! Just like many things in life, this did not just happen, but it required work, effort, vulnerability and time.
What prompts me to share this tonight? We are beginning a new study at Lakeside, called "40 Days of Love," by Rick Warren and Tom Holladay. As I begin my daily readings, I smile because I have experienced this type of relationship in many places, with my husband, my kids, my family and especially with friends who are there for me on the good days and the bad. The friends who were just as excited as I was when I first got up on the wake board this summer, the friend who diligently prayed for me after I shared how deep of a hole I was in my relationship with Brian and miraculously, it was healed that night! Friends who have prayed whole-heartedly for a job for us and encouraged us and continue to have faith, even when we are suffering disappointment. These people are priceless and essential to my new outlook on my life.
Here's some quotes from our study guide, "The Relationship Principles of Jesus," that particularily struck me. "There is a difference between what we think we should value and what we truly value." "Jesus teaches us that competing values cannot coexist." "When you boil it all down, questions about priorities are questions about faith. If I have faith that God will care for me, it frees me to live with a certain set of priorities." Without thinking that we have it all figured out, or seeming self-righteous, this is something we've chosen to claim over the past months as we search for jobs. There have been events and ministry opportunities that have taken away from daily job searching and we have had to be intentional of giving God our trust that He will make up the difference of our energy and time when we give of ourselves to Him. I am realizing that God is only going to fulfill this employment gap when/if He does it in a way that He will be glorified. It is not about how many jobs, Brian logs into each day, how many connections we make, but how God can be glorified in the most magnificent and unlikely way! Brian and I both are doers, I am first-born, actually, an Only...and Brian is a first-born, we like to be busy, be organized, self-sufficient, productive, appreciated and excel in what we do. We love to look back on our hard work and gleam with pride. This is not about that! It is a hard lesson for us and we are slow to get it. There is not much more difficulty for strong , hard working people than to not be able to muscle your way through life. We've been doing a lot of treading water. It's tiring, not very effective and produces no forward motion. It's time to back float and give up control, rest and allow ourselves to be rescued by Our Savior!
One thing I'm noticing is that the relationship building in our family has happened very slowly over the past 7 months. We have had such tremendous stresses that there's been a lot of bad behavior, (adults included) but until recently, I hadn't seen any true strength built. If it was my choice, this battle would have been done by now. I would have missed this happiness I never knew there was. Contentment in crisis. We began home schooling our middle son and I can truly say that the past month of home schooling has been the best I've had with our relationship. I know him in a way, I've never known before. We have inside jokes, can relate in many ways and my patience for him has increased, while his need for attention getting behavior has decreased. Although it requires a great deal of my time and energy, it was required to better our family. It was explained by another home schooling Mom that we must do what is best for our family and sometimes that means giving the needs extra attention to the one. It really is best for the whole, even when others must sacrifice some time. This is so true! Sometimes we just need a little more attention and splitting attention equally and fairly is not what's right. Carter told me a few days ago, "Mom, I love this school," after coming home from the Core class at the Charter school. I carefully asked if he was referring to the class time, or to home schooling in general? He said, "I want to home school next year!" My mother heart sang for joy in this HUGE compliment from a skeptical and withholding 8 year old. ("Let's not get carried away," I thought to myself! {after all, I'm only human})