Leaving Again! The worst thing about leaving is that when you need people, they need to NOT, NEED YOU. The pain of separation happens much before the actual separation because it is natural for people to withdraw, in order to avoid pain. Much like we learn quickly not to touch a hot stove, we also learn to avoid emotional pain.
We know a bit about mourning the loss of friendships because we experienced it about a year and a half ago, when we made the choice to leave Spokane, our home of about 20 years. I met a woman at BLITZ, who shared with me that re-locating can be worse than suffering loss through death, due to the amount of trauma one experiences when leaving everything they know and love. I suppose I should have been the one telling her, since that really had been my experience through the past year-and-a-half. I remember the first field trip I went on with Jonah's class, just after arriving in California. I must have look like a deer in the headlights. I had to find my way into downtown Sacramento, dependent upon trailing people who didn't realize how desperately I needed to follow their lead. It felt like survival, and it was!
We once again, find ourselves in a dead-end situation, knowing that a step of faith and a step towards choosing what's best for our family, is what is required. It is not fun to be stuck between a rock and a hard place! It is just HARD!
Being abandoned feels the same, whether someone means to or not. I understand and I'm sure I've done the same, unconsciously, or consciously, this is not passed as judgment, just perception and experience.
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