GOD: "Do You Trust Me?"

Yesterday, in my alone time with God (in the shower when I lock the door & no-one can bother me) He proposed the question, "Do You Trust Me?"

It was the, " are you willing to fall back without a safety net into my arms without seeing I'm here," kind of trust! I have a dilemma, a conflict with work and a commitment to Church/God. It may not be the kind of dilemma that would stop everyone in their tracks, but for some reason, I feel that God is asking me, "DO YOU TRUST ME?"

I truly want to say YES with reckless abandon, but I don't! I stop and think, ponder, run the scenarios over and over in my head. I do the math, try to find an answer that is logical & practical, but this isn't that kind of question!! It's a matter of TRUST and COMMITTMENT and FAITH, but I don't want it to be about those things.

So, I don't answer! I try to send an e-mail, against my own better spiritual judgment, but God rejects my lousy try at sulking my way out of His True Question and the e-mail is returned/not sent.

LORD, I want to trust you, but I feel let down, abandoned, left to fend for myself and so I hesitate to answer. GOD, please help rebuild my trust in You, not by answering all my prayers with yeses, but by allowing me to see what you've accomplished over this past year. Move us forward out of this valley and give us a gracious perspective on our trials. Help me to be thankful for the things I have failed to see as blessings and help me to be able to answer YES, I TRUST YOU!